An Aussie Mum living in the UK

Its been a while since I have updated, hasn't helped that I moved house and my broadband wasn't working.

G and I have spoken, he wanted to know what I did with S, I told him that I have done nothing but kiss S. G doesn't believe me, so he read through my blog looking for something a bit incriminating. I don't think that there is anything there, but he is certain that I have slept with him. That's his issue now.

I asked him about K, he told me that when he first came over to the UK and was away for work that he ended up back in her hotel room... He also said that he did buy her the iPod because she was hassling him for it and was also honest about his S back in Aus. I felt relieved, although I am still angry and feel hurt.

We have had my Aunt and Uncle here from Aus visiting as well as my SIL from Canada, talk about feeling like a visitor in my own house, I am sure she likes the sound of her own voice, boy, taking them to the airport today was such a weight lifting exercise. G and I have been so stressed while everyone has been at the house.

The kids have finished school too for the summer holidays, they will return to school on the 5 September, so far I haven't had to wish the holidays to be over, hopefully I wont have to!

I want G to tell me that he has been talking to K. I want G to tell me that he offered to buy K a new iPod. I want G to tell me that he did buy her an iPod. I know that he has, I have the evidence. Why wont he tell me???

I am still really confused and feel really sick in my stomach.

Why don't I believe him? Why don't I trust him?

I am in such a mood and it will show later I am sure.

On Friday I waited for G to come home. We had had some bad news regarding our house settlement back in Aus and I needed to go to work. He assured me that he would be home in time. He was 10 mins late, no big deal, although when he walked in the gate, I needed to get out to the car, he walked in with K. What a shock for me. No talk of K coming over to visit, nothing. I was dumbfounded. I went to work. I was upset, I was hurting. Everyone stayed out of my way at work, probably a good thing when you work in a kitchen!!! I txted G to ask if K would be home when I got home from work at 10pm, I was told no, she was going out with friends. I felt a little better. I left work and came home. I came in through the back door and could see that all the lights were out but the TV was on, thats ok I thought, G is waiting up for me. G met me in the kitchen and said 'We're just watching a movie', you guessed it, K was still there. I was shocked again, why hadn't he told me during night? I walked into the lounge room and asked her why she wasn't out with her friends, then I asked if she planned to stay the night. I was not happy. She was sitting on the lounge with a duvet on and then G came in, he sat right beside her and she put her feet up on him. They cuddled up under the duvet. I was shocked beyond belief, so I decided that to calm down I would go and visit L. I was upset, what was I thinking, more than anything that I was an idiot. I stayed with L for a few hours and came home again. I wanted to wake up in my bed so that the kids new I was home. When I got home, I opened the back door slowly, all the lights were off, but I needed to bang the back door to shut it, well, thats when I heard the noises...

I went upstairs and there was G, naked, trying to get into my bed. My daughter A was in my bed and it was obvious that G hadn't been there. His clothes were in a pile outside my door. K was in the spare bed next to my room. I threw my back, I had the shits. I smelt G to see if he had had sex, but he smelt clean, then I thought maybe he had had a shower. I was angry. I tried to talk to G, but he didn't want to talk to me. He said that I had driven him to do it. He said that nothing had been going on, sure didn't look like that from where I was. He decided that he was not going to sleep in our bed and went back to K's bed, but she must have said no because he ended up sleeping in H's bed. Eventually he came back and hopped in my bed. I felt so sick, I tried to be sick but nothing would happen. I asked him what he would do if he came home and found me naked in bed with S, he said that he would have kicked me out. I was fuming. Everytime he got up to go to the toilet I would listen to see if he was going into K's room, but he kept coming back to my room. In the morning, I heard K get up, I followed her to the bathroom to apologise for my behaviour the night before where she kept telling me that nothing was going on. What on earth would her boyfriend think if he knew that she was sleeping in bed with another man??? I told her that I would talk to her down stairs and I made her a tea, when she game downstairs, so did the kids, so I didn't get to talk to her and she soon left to catch a train home.

G said that she will probably have nothing else to do with him. Thats not what I want, I want to know that she is coming to my house, and not when I need to run out to work and therefore not get to meet her. G said that he tried to let me know that she was coming althought he didn't ring, email or txt me... He said that he wasn't trying to hide it, and I think that is true.

I want to forgive G, but I am so angry that he has done this to me again. But again, he expected to have sex afterwards.

I would hate to think what my blood pressure is like right now.

G is away for work on Wednesday night, will be interesting to see if K makes it back to London from Derby on Wednesday night instead of Thursday.

I was working on Saturday, just like I do most Saturday's, so G decided that he would go out on his motorbike for the day down to Stonehenge. He organised sitters for the kids and was meant to be back at 6pm when the sitters needed to leave. At 11am he called me to tell me that he had stopped in Richmond at Costa for a frescato. No problem, I am not thinking anything bad. At 1pm, I called him to see if he had made it to Stonehenge yet, but no he hadn't. He was still in Richmond because there was an electrical fault with the bike. I went off to work at 2pm. At 5.50pm I got a call at work from the sitter. Could H go next door to the nieghbours because G was not back. Yes, H could go next door, but what about A, she was at a friends house and also needed to be picked up at 6pm. I called G, this time he had run out of fuel and was trying to find his wallet, it wasn't in his bag so he thought that he had left it on the side of the road when the AA had come out. I was fuming. G told me that A was ok at her friends house and that he would be back later to get her. 8.50pm now and G has called me at work to tell me that for the second time he has run out of fuel. I decide that A needs to be picked up and make arrangements with the neighbours to get her from her friends house - what would I do without such great neighbours. The neighbours grabbed A and all was ok again, I was going to be home in just under an hour. At 9.30pm I called G to tell him that I would come and get him from Richmond so that he didn't have to worry about the bike breaking down again, but he said 'no, we're on our way home'. We're??? I asked who he was with, expecting that he was with another bike friend, but no, he answered that he was with K an attractive girl the same age as me from his work. I slammed the phone down and left work. Why didn't he tell me that he was going out with someone? I got home and grabbed the kids from next door, then being the bitch that I am, grabbed his laptop and logged into VPN to check his emails. Sure enough, this had been planned for a few days. Why didn't he tell me??? I was in tears and really upset, but then came the SMS's:

Have got to k's house to drop her home and am now too tired to continue. Will come home early in the morning. Absolutely nothing is going on. I love you and wish I was home with you. Xxxx

I didn't think it was such a big deal...I am really sory. I love you very much and am seriously just too tired to go anywhere after such a shit day. I love you xxxx.

It was a spur of the moment on Thursday...what do you mean didn't want to go tomorrow? I absoultely want to go out and so something all together xox

I am not coming home tonight. I do feel guilty but that does not mean i am not being truthful

K did not come to the hotel on Thursday night, there is nothing going on.

On the lounge...i am going to bed...good night xxxx

(G was away for work in London on Thursday night, never mind the fact that I live about 7 miles from London)

G said that he would leave asap on Sunday morning to come and spend the day with us.

At 7.30am I rang him and he was getting on the bike, he would be home soon. At 8.15am he called to tell me that he had broken down again, I needed to call the AA for him as his phone was about to go flat, so I called the AA and grabbed the kids and went to meet him where the bike had broken down in Blackfriars. I got to him at 9am, we didn't talk to each other except for the snide comments I was making to him. I was so angry and so sad that I felt ill. Why would he do this to me???

Finally, at 11.30am the AA arrived and it was time to leave and come home. We came home and I had a shower, he apologised again and again. Then we did what we always do, had great Make Up sex, but then he made this comment - see, you can tell I haven't done anything...

What was he thinking? Talk about ruin the moment. We went out afterwards with the kids and he wanted to tell me about his day, I kept referring to K as HER and told him that I wasn't interested and didn't want to hear anymore about her or his trip.

I am still angry that he didn't tell me that this was planned, although I have the email to prove it now. I am hurt that he didn't want me to come and get him when he told me that he was broken down or that he was tired.

So, did I over react? I suppose I didn't say that I was sending him horrible sms's and leaving nasty messages on his mobile phone. Oh, and he asked me when he got home if I wanted him to leave...I am really starting to question it all over again.

Ah, off my chest now!

H decided today to go through the bin in my bedroom and shave his legs. Needless to say, I found out when he came down stairs and told me that he was bleeding but didn't know how it had happened! After moving the blood I could see it was a straight line and came out and asked him if he had tried to shave his legs, YES was the answer, and so had A, although she didn't cut herself!

I swear, there is never a dull moment in my house, and I am so glad that there isn't, I think life would be too boring if there wasn't any dull moments.

Two plasters and H was happy to go back to bed and not touch the razor again! Obvioulsy he doesn't remember when he was 3 and decided to copy his male nanny and cut his lips open, it looked like someone had been killed in my white bathroom!

Happy 90th to G's Grandmother in Narrabri.

A cut her fringe the other morning because she couldn't see the TV!!! You should see it! Maybe I will post a picture!

We have a new addition to the family, Mary, she is H's hamster, he wanted 6 mice but got 1 hamster instead, I think that is a good compromise!

We are in the process of moving house...again! I don't think G and I have lived in the same house for more than 18 months since I have been with him, and that has been 11 years. Lets see, lived in 1 house in 1995, moved to another in 96, and then another mid 96, moved to another town 2 hours away in 98, then lived in a hotel for 6 months courtesy of G's work. Lived in a wonderful house overlooking a wonderful town and then moved back to Sydney to have the kids so moved again to another house in late 98, finally bought our first home in 2000 so moved again! Stayed at our 'first' home for 8 months then decided to buy a bigger house so moved again, lived in the bigger house for another 12 months before moving to the farm, after moving to the farm, G took work interstate so again we lived in a hotel care of G's work, then 2 different appartments over 03/04 then moved back to Sydney for the kids to start school. Lived in our last house in Sydney for 12 months before moving to the UK, now we will have finished our 12 month lease before moving to the next house that we are taking a 2 year lease on, so maybe we might start to settle down, but then knowing us, we wont!

Life in my house is never dull or boring!

They are back on my hand! My wonderful wedding ring, my engagement ring and my eternity ring

Today is G's birthday and he gave me back my rings and then I gave him his. I feel so settled now. I feel so good

Today we also went to look at a house up the road, our landlord owns it and we are thinking of buying it! The bank will give us the money we need, we just need to think about whether it is something we want to do or not.

G is currently out watching the England game at the local pub, I am going to join him once the babysitter arrives, but before then I will have dinner.

I need to organise the kids, I want them in bed and asleep before R turns up to have the kids, the kids are unaware they are having a sitter, hopefully that way they will go to bed on tim, which by my clock should be in 20 mins.

I am feeling so happy now

Australia won!!! 3 - 1 to Japan.

Bring on Sunday's game against Brazil!

Three cheers for Cahill and Aloisi!

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

Today is Australia's first game in the FIFA World Cup, they are playing Japan at 2pm (UK time). All would be well except that I need to go to the local church to watch my son perform at 2.30pm, so I will need to tape the game.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE - OI OI OI!

Go the green and gold!

Last Wednesday was my 8th Wedding Anniversary. I wasn't sure what G had planned so I kept my things to myself. G woke up and gave me a lovely big kiss and cuddle and said 'I love you'. We spent the day together, he bought me flowers and perfume and we had a meal at a Mexican restaurant in Greenwich. It was a lovely day and I can clearly say that I am married and happy and am looking forward to many more years with G.