An Aussie Mum living in the UKhttp://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/Life and tribulations of a Mum in the UK!en-UKhourly82000-01-01T12:00+00:00An Aussie Mum living in the UKhttp://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/fb/c2bb8dab504783318ce054ee8ecda1_160x200.jpgA lot has happened...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/08/01/a_lot_has_happened~1005883/2006-08-01T17:41:36+02:00 <p>Its been a while since I have updated, hasn't helped that I moved house and my broadband wasn't working.</p> <p>G and I have spoken, he wanted to know what I did with S, I told him that I have done nothing but kiss S. G doesn't believe me, so he read through my blog looking for something a bit incriminating. I don't think that there is anything there, but he is certain that I have slept with him. That's his issue now.</p> <p>I asked him about K, he told me that when he first came over to the UK and was away for work that he ended up back in her hotel room... He also said that he did buy her the iPod because she was hassling him for it and was also honest about his S back in Aus. I felt relieved, although I am still angry and feel hurt.</p> <p>We have had my Aunt and Uncle here from Aus visiting as well as my SIL from Canada, talk about feeling like a visitor in my own house, I am sure she likes the sound of her own voice, boy, taking them to the airport today was such a weight lifting exercise. G and I have been so stressed while everyone has been at the house.</p> <p>The kids have finished school too for the summer holidays, they will return to school on the 5 September, so far I haven't had to wish the holidays to be over, hopefully I wont have to! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/08/01/a_lot_has_happened~1005883/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Its been a while since I have updated, hasn't helped that I moved house and my broadband wasn't working.

G and I have spoken, he wanted to know what I did with S, I told him that I have done nothing but kiss S. G doesn't believe me, so he read through my blog looking for something a bit incriminating. I don't think that there is anything there, but he is certain that I have slept with him. That's his issue now.

I asked him about K, he told me that when he first came over to the UK and was away for work that he ended up back in her hotel room... He also said that he did buy her the iPod because she was hassling him for it and was also honest about his S back in Aus. I felt relieved, although I am still angry and feel hurt.

We have had my Aunt and Uncle here from Aus visiting as well as my SIL from Canada, talk about feeling like a visitor in my own house, I am sure she likes the sound of her own voice, boy, taking them to the airport today was such a weight lifting exercise. G and I have been so stressed while everyone has been at the house.

The kids have finished school too for the summer holidays, they will return to school on the 5 September, so far I haven't had to wish the holidays to be over, hopefully I wont have to!

Comments

]]>I want him to be honest...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/07/11/i_want_him_to_be_honest~950784/2006-07-11T10:30:20+02:00 <p>I want G to tell me that he has been talking to K. I want G to tell me that he offered to buy K a new iPod. I want G to tell me that he did buy her an iPod. I know that he has, I have the evidence. Why wont he tell me???</p> <p>I am still really confused and feel really sick in my stomach.</p> <p>Why don't I believe him? Why don't I trust him?</p> <p>I am in such a mood and it will show later I am sure. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/07/11/i_want_him_to_be_honest~950784/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I want G to tell me that he has been talking to K. I want G to tell me that he offered to buy K a new iPod. I want G to tell me that he did buy her an iPod. I know that he has, I have the evidence. Why wont he tell me???

I am still really confused and feel really sick in my stomach.

Why don't I believe him? Why don't I trust him?

I am in such a mood and it will show later I am sure.

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]]>What can I say...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/07/09/what_can_i_say~945375/2006-07-09T10:11:35+02:00 <p>On Friday I waited for G to come home. We had had some bad news regarding our house settlement back in Aus and I needed to go to work. He assured me that he would be home in time. He was 10 mins late, no big deal, although when he walked in the gate, I needed to get out to the car, he walked in with K. What a shock for me. No talk of K coming over to visit, nothing. I was dumbfounded. I went to work. I was upset, I was hurting. Everyone stayed out of my way at work, probably a good thing when you work in a kitchen!!! I txted G to ask if K would be home when I got home from work at 10pm, I was told no, she was going out with friends. I felt a little better. I left work and came home. I came in through the back door and could see that all the lights were out but the TV was on, thats ok I thought, G is waiting up for me. G met me in the kitchen and said 'We're just watching a movie', you guessed it, K was still there. I was shocked again, why hadn't he told me during night? I walked into the lounge room and asked her why she wasn't out with her friends, then I asked if she planned to stay the night. I was not happy. She was sitting on the lounge with a duvet on and then G came in, he sat right beside her and she put her feet up on him. They cuddled up under the duvet. I was shocked beyond belief, so I decided that to calm down I would go and visit L. I was upset, what was I thinking, more than anything that I was an idiot. I stayed with L for a few hours and came home again. I wanted to wake up in my bed so that the kids new I was home. When I got home, I opened the back door slowly, all the lights were off, but I needed to bang the back door to shut it, well, thats when I heard the noises...</p> <p>I went upstairs and there was G, naked, trying to get into my bed. My daughter A was in my bed and it was obvious that G hadn't been there. His clothes were in a pile outside my door. K was in the spare bed next to my room. I threw my back, I had the shits. I smelt G to see if he had had sex, but he smelt clean, then I thought maybe he had had a shower. I was angry. I tried to talk to G, but he didn't want to talk to me. He said that I had driven him to do it. He said that nothing had been going on, sure didn't look like that from where I was. He decided that he was not going to sleep in our bed and went back to K's bed, but she must have said no because he ended up sleeping in H's bed. Eventually he came back and hopped in my bed. I felt so sick, I tried to be sick but nothing would happen. I asked him what he would do if he came home and found me naked in bed with S, he said that he would have kicked me out. I was fuming. Everytime he got up to go to the toilet I would listen to see if he was going into K's room, but he kept coming back to my room. In the morning, I heard K get up, I followed her to the bathroom to apologise for my behaviour the night before where she kept telling me that nothing was going on. What on earth would her boyfriend think if he knew that she was sleeping in bed with another man??? I told her that I would talk to her down stairs and I made her a tea, when she game downstairs, so did the kids, so I didn't get to talk to her and she soon left to catch a train home.</p> <p>G said that she will probably have nothing else to do with him. Thats not what I want, I want to know that she is coming to my house, and not when I need to run out to work and therefore not get to meet her. G said that he tried to let me know that she was coming althought he didn't ring, email or txt me... He said that he wasn't trying to hide it, and I think that is true.</p> <p>I want to forgive G, but I am so angry that he has done this to me again. But again, he expected to have sex afterwards.</p> <p>I would hate to think what my blood pressure is like right now.</p> <p>G is away for work on Wednesday night, will be interesting to see if K makes it back to London from Derby on Wednesday night instead of Thursday. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/07/09/what_can_i_say~945375/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>On Friday I waited for G to come home. We had had some bad news regarding our house settlement back in Aus and I needed to go to work. He assured me that he would be home in time. He was 10 mins late, no big deal, although when he walked in the gate, I needed to get out to the car, he walked in with K. What a shock for me. No talk of K coming over to visit, nothing. I was dumbfounded. I went to work. I was upset, I was hurting. Everyone stayed out of my way at work, probably a good thing when you work in a kitchen!!! I txted G to ask if K would be home when I got home from work at 10pm, I was told no, she was going out with friends. I felt a little better. I left work and came home. I came in through the back door and could see that all the lights were out but the TV was on, thats ok I thought, G is waiting up for me. G met me in the kitchen and said 'We're just watching a movie', you guessed it, K was still there. I was shocked again, why hadn't he told me during night? I walked into the lounge room and asked her why she wasn't out with her friends, then I asked if she planned to stay the night. I was not happy. She was sitting on the lounge with a duvet on and then G came in, he sat right beside her and she put her feet up on him. They cuddled up under the duvet. I was shocked beyond belief, so I decided that to calm down I would go and visit L. I was upset, what was I thinking, more than anything that I was an idiot. I stayed with L for a few hours and came home again. I wanted to wake up in my bed so that the kids new I was home. When I got home, I opened the back door slowly, all the lights were off, but I needed to bang the back door to shut it, well, thats when I heard the noises...

I went upstairs and there was G, naked, trying to get into my bed. My daughter A was in my bed and it was obvious that G hadn't been there. His clothes were in a pile outside my door. K was in the spare bed next to my room. I threw my back, I had the shits. I smelt G to see if he had had sex, but he smelt clean, then I thought maybe he had had a shower. I was angry. I tried to talk to G, but he didn't want to talk to me. He said that I had driven him to do it. He said that nothing had been going on, sure didn't look like that from where I was. He decided that he was not going to sleep in our bed and went back to K's bed, but she must have said no because he ended up sleeping in H's bed. Eventually he came back and hopped in my bed. I felt so sick, I tried to be sick but nothing would happen. I asked him what he would do if he came home and found me naked in bed with S, he said that he would have kicked me out. I was fuming. Everytime he got up to go to the toilet I would listen to see if he was going into K's room, but he kept coming back to my room. In the morning, I heard K get up, I followed her to the bathroom to apologise for my behaviour the night before where she kept telling me that nothing was going on. What on earth would her boyfriend think if he knew that she was sleeping in bed with another man??? I told her that I would talk to her down stairs and I made her a tea, when she game downstairs, so did the kids, so I didn't get to talk to her and she soon left to catch a train home.

G said that she will probably have nothing else to do with him. Thats not what I want, I want to know that she is coming to my house, and not when I need to run out to work and therefore not get to meet her. G said that he tried to let me know that she was coming althought he didn't ring, email or txt me... He said that he wasn't trying to hide it, and I think that is true.

I want to forgive G, but I am so angry that he has done this to me again. But again, he expected to have sex afterwards.

I would hate to think what my blood pressure is like right now.

G is away for work on Wednesday night, will be interesting to see if K makes it back to London from Derby on Wednesday night instead of Thursday.

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]]>Did I over react???http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/07/03/did_i_over_react~928715/2006-07-03T10:24:40+02:00 <p>I was working on Saturday, just like I do most Saturday's, so G decided that he would go out on his motorbike for the day down to Stonehenge. He organised sitters for the kids and was meant to be back at 6pm when the sitters needed to leave. At 11am he called me to tell me that he had stopped in Richmond at Costa for a frescato. No problem, I am not thinking anything bad. At 1pm, I called him to see if he had made it to Stonehenge yet, but no he hadn't. He was still in Richmond because there was an electrical fault with the bike. I went off to work at 2pm. At 5.50pm I got a call at work from the sitter. Could H go next door to the nieghbours because G was not back. Yes, H could go next door, but what about A, she was at a friends house and also needed to be picked up at 6pm. I called G, this time he had run out of fuel and was trying to find his wallet, it wasn't in his bag so he thought that he had left it on the side of the road when the AA had come out. I was fuming. G told me that A was ok at her friends house and that he would be back later to get her. 8.50pm now and G has called me at work to tell me that for the second time he has run out of fuel. I decide that A needs to be picked up and make arrangements with the neighbours to get her from her friends house - what would I do without such great neighbours. The neighbours grabbed A and all was ok again, I was going to be home in just under an hour. At 9.30pm I called G to tell him that I would come and get him from Richmond so that he didn't have to worry about the bike breaking down again, but he said 'no, <strong>we're</strong> on our way home'. We're??? I asked who he was with, expecting that he was with another bike friend, but no, he answered that he was with K an attractive girl the same age as me from his work. I slammed the phone down and left work. Why didn't he tell me that he was going out with someone? I got home and grabbed the kids from next door, then being the bitch that I am, grabbed his laptop and logged into VPN to check his emails. Sure enough, this had been planned for a few days. Why didn't he tell me??? I was in tears and really upset, but then came the SMS's:</p> <p>Have got to k's house to drop her home and am now too tired to continue. Will come home early in the morning. Absolutely nothing is going on. I love you and wish I was home with you. Xxxx</p> <p>I didn't think it was such a big deal...I am really sory. I love you very much and am seriously just too tired to go anywhere after such a shit day. I love you xxxx.</p> <p>It was a spur of the moment on Thursday...what do you mean didn't want to go tomorrow? I absoultely want to go out and so something all together xox</p> <p>I am not coming home tonight. I do feel guilty but that does not mean i am not being truthful</p> <p>K did not come to the hotel on Thursday night, there is nothing going on.</p> <p>On the lounge...i am going to bed...good night xxxx</p> <p>(G was away for work in London on Thursday night, never mind the fact that I live about 7 miles from London)</p> <p>G said that he would leave asap on Sunday morning to come and spend the day with us.</p> <p>At 7.30am I rang him and he was getting on the bike, he would be home soon. At 8.15am he called to tell me that he had broken down again, I needed to call the AA for him as his phone was about to go flat, so I called the AA and grabbed the kids and went to meet him where the bike had broken down in Blackfriars. I got to him at 9am, we didn't talk to each other except for the snide comments I was making to him. I was so angry and so sad that I felt ill. Why would he do this to me???</p> <p>Finally, at 11.30am the AA arrived and it was time to leave and come home. We came home and I had a shower, he apologised again and again. Then we did what we always do, had great Make Up sex, but then he made this comment - see, you can tell I haven't done anything... </p> <p>What was he thinking? Talk about ruin the moment. We went out afterwards with the kids and he wanted to tell me about his day, I kept referring to K as HER and told him that I wasn't interested and didn't want to hear anymore about her or his trip.</p> <p>I am still angry that he didn't tell me that this was planned, although I have the email to prove it now. I am hurt that he didn't want me to come and get him when he told me that he was broken down or that he was tired.</p> <p>So, did I over react? I suppose I didn't say that I was sending him horrible sms's and leaving nasty messages on his mobile phone. Oh, and he asked me when he got home if I wanted him to leave...I am really starting to question it all over again.</p> <p>Ah, off my chest now! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/07/03/did_i_over_react~928715/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I was working on Saturday, just like I do most Saturday's, so G decided that he would go out on his motorbike for the day down to Stonehenge. He organised sitters for the kids and was meant to be back at 6pm when the sitters needed to leave. At 11am he called me to tell me that he had stopped in Richmond at Costa for a frescato. No problem, I am not thinking anything bad. At 1pm, I called him to see if he had made it to Stonehenge yet, but no he hadn't. He was still in Richmond because there was an electrical fault with the bike. I went off to work at 2pm. At 5.50pm I got a call at work from the sitter. Could H go next door to the nieghbours because G was not back. Yes, H could go next door, but what about A, she was at a friends house and also needed to be picked up at 6pm. I called G, this time he had run out of fuel and was trying to find his wallet, it wasn't in his bag so he thought that he had left it on the side of the road when the AA had come out. I was fuming. G told me that A was ok at her friends house and that he would be back later to get her. 8.50pm now and G has called me at work to tell me that for the second time he has run out of fuel. I decide that A needs to be picked up and make arrangements with the neighbours to get her from her friends house - what would I do without such great neighbours. The neighbours grabbed A and all was ok again, I was going to be home in just under an hour. At 9.30pm I called G to tell him that I would come and get him from Richmond so that he didn't have to worry about the bike breaking down again, but he said 'no, we're on our way home'. We're??? I asked who he was with, expecting that he was with another bike friend, but no, he answered that he was with K an attractive girl the same age as me from his work. I slammed the phone down and left work. Why didn't he tell me that he was going out with someone? I got home and grabbed the kids from next door, then being the bitch that I am, grabbed his laptop and logged into VPN to check his emails. Sure enough, this had been planned for a few days. Why didn't he tell me??? I was in tears and really upset, but then came the SMS's:

Have got to k's house to drop her home and am now too tired to continue. Will come home early in the morning. Absolutely nothing is going on. I love you and wish I was home with you. Xxxx

I didn't think it was such a big deal...I am really sory. I love you very much and am seriously just too tired to go anywhere after such a shit day. I love you xxxx.

It was a spur of the moment on Thursday...what do you mean didn't want to go tomorrow? I absoultely want to go out and so something all together xox

I am not coming home tonight. I do feel guilty but that does not mean i am not being truthful

K did not come to the hotel on Thursday night, there is nothing going on.

On the lounge...i am going to bed...good night xxxx

(G was away for work in London on Thursday night, never mind the fact that I live about 7 miles from London)

G said that he would leave asap on Sunday morning to come and spend the day with us.

At 7.30am I rang him and he was getting on the bike, he would be home soon. At 8.15am he called to tell me that he had broken down again, I needed to call the AA for him as his phone was about to go flat, so I called the AA and grabbed the kids and went to meet him where the bike had broken down in Blackfriars. I got to him at 9am, we didn't talk to each other except for the snide comments I was making to him. I was so angry and so sad that I felt ill. Why would he do this to me???

Finally, at 11.30am the AA arrived and it was time to leave and come home. We came home and I had a shower, he apologised again and again. Then we did what we always do, had great Make Up sex, but then he made this comment - see, you can tell I haven't done anything...

What was he thinking? Talk about ruin the moment. We went out afterwards with the kids and he wanted to tell me about his day, I kept referring to K as HER and told him that I wasn't interested and didn't want to hear anymore about her or his trip.

I am still angry that he didn't tell me that this was planned, although I have the email to prove it now. I am hurt that he didn't want me to come and get him when he told me that he was broken down or that he was tired.

So, did I over react? I suppose I didn't say that I was sending him horrible sms's and leaving nasty messages on his mobile phone. Oh, and he asked me when he got home if I wanted him to leave...I am really starting to question it all over again.

Ah, off my chest now!

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]]>Never a dull moment...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/27/never_a_dull_moment~916639/2006-06-27T22:00:31+02:00 <p>H decided today to go through the bin in my bedroom and shave his legs. Needless to say, I found out when he came down stairs and told me that he was bleeding but didn't know how it had happened! After moving the blood I could see it was a straight line and came out and asked him if he had tried to shave his legs, YES was the answer, and so had A, although she didn't cut herself!</p> <p>I swear, there is never a dull moment in my house, and I am so glad that there isn't, I think life would be too boring if there wasn't any dull moments.</p> <p>Two plasters and H was happy to go back to bed and not touch the razor again! Obvioulsy he doesn't remember when he was 3 and decided to copy his male nanny and cut his lips open, it looked like someone had been killed in my white bathroom! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/27/never_a_dull_moment~916639/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>H decided today to go through the bin in my bedroom and shave his legs. Needless to say, I found out when he came down stairs and told me that he was bleeding but didn't know how it had happened! After moving the blood I could see it was a straight line and came out and asked him if he had tried to shave his legs, YES was the answer, and so had A, although she didn't cut herself!

I swear, there is never a dull moment in my house, and I am so glad that there isn't, I think life would be too boring if there wasn't any dull moments.

Two plasters and H was happy to go back to bed and not touch the razor again! Obvioulsy he doesn't remember when he was 3 and decided to copy his male nanny and cut his lips open, it looked like someone had been killed in my white bathroom!

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]]>Life...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/26/life~913888/2006-06-26T21:06:06+02:00 <p>Happy 90th to G's Grandmother in Narrabri.</p> <p>A cut her fringe the other morning because she couldn't see the TV!!! You should see it! Maybe I will post a picture!</p> <p>We have a new addition to the family, Mary, she is H's hamster, he wanted 6 mice but got 1 hamster instead, I think that is a good compromise!</p> <p>We are in the process of moving house...again! I don't think G and I have lived in the same house for more than 18 months since I have been with him, and that has been 11 years. Lets see, lived in 1 house in 1995, moved to another in 96, and then another mid 96, moved to another town 2 hours away in 98, then lived in a hotel for 6 months courtesy of G's work. Lived in a wonderful house overlooking a wonderful town and then moved back to Sydney to have the kids so moved again to another house in late 98, finally bought our first home in 2000 so moved again! Stayed at our 'first' home for 8 months then decided to buy a bigger house so moved again, lived in the bigger house for another 12 months before moving to the farm, after moving to the farm, G took work interstate so again we lived in a hotel care of G's work, then 2 different appartments over 03/04 then moved back to Sydney for the kids to start school. Lived in our last house in Sydney for 12 months before moving to the UK, now we will have finished our 12 month lease before moving to the next house that we are taking a 2 year lease on, so maybe we might start to settle down, but then knowing us, we wont!</p> <p>Life in my house is never dull or boring! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/26/life~913888/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Happy 90th to G's Grandmother in Narrabri.

A cut her fringe the other morning because she couldn't see the TV!!! You should see it! Maybe I will post a picture!

We have a new addition to the family, Mary, she is H's hamster, he wanted 6 mice but got 1 hamster instead, I think that is a good compromise!

We are in the process of moving house...again! I don't think G and I have lived in the same house for more than 18 months since I have been with him, and that has been 11 years. Lets see, lived in 1 house in 1995, moved to another in 96, and then another mid 96, moved to another town 2 hours away in 98, then lived in a hotel for 6 months courtesy of G's work. Lived in a wonderful house overlooking a wonderful town and then moved back to Sydney to have the kids so moved again to another house in late 98, finally bought our first home in 2000 so moved again! Stayed at our 'first' home for 8 months then decided to buy a bigger house so moved again, lived in the bigger house for another 12 months before moving to the farm, after moving to the farm, G took work interstate so again we lived in a hotel care of G's work, then 2 different appartments over 03/04 then moved back to Sydney for the kids to start school. Lived in our last house in Sydney for 12 months before moving to the UK, now we will have finished our 12 month lease before moving to the next house that we are taking a 2 year lease on, so maybe we might start to settle down, but then knowing us, we wont!

Life in my house is never dull or boring!

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]]>Well....http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/15/well~883511/2006-06-15T18:37:17+02:00 <p>They are back on my hand! My wonderful wedding ring, my engagement ring and my eternity ring <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Today is G's birthday and he gave me back my rings and then I gave him his. I feel so settled now. I feel so good <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Today we also went to look at a house up the road, our landlord owns it and we are thinking of buying it! The bank will give us the money we need, we just need to think about whether it is something we want to do or not.</p> <p>G is currently out watching the England game at the local pub, I am going to join him once the babysitter arrives, but before then I will have dinner.</p> <p>I need to organise the kids, I want them in bed and asleep before R turns up to have the kids, the kids are unaware they are having a sitter, hopefully that way they will go to bed on tim, which by my clock should be in 20 mins.</p> <p>I am feeling so happy now <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/15/well~883511/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>They are back on my hand! My wonderful wedding ring, my engagement ring and my eternity ring :):):)

Today is G's birthday and he gave me back my rings and then I gave him his. I feel so settled now. I feel so good :)

Today we also went to look at a house up the road, our landlord owns it and we are thinking of buying it! The bank will give us the money we need, we just need to think about whether it is something we want to do or not.

G is currently out watching the England game at the local pub, I am going to join him once the babysitter arrives, but before then I will have dinner.

I need to organise the kids, I want them in bed and asleep before R turns up to have the kids, the kids are unaware they are having a sitter, hopefully that way they will go to bed on tim, which by my clock should be in 20 mins.

I am feeling so happy now :):):):)

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]]>Forgot to update...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/15/forgot_to_update~883504/2006-06-15T18:33:12+02:00 <p>Australia won!!! 3 - 1 to Japan.</p> <p>Bring on Sunday's game against Brazil!</p> <p>Three cheers for Cahill and Aloisi!</p> <p>Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/15/forgot_to_update~883504/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Australia won!!! 3 - 1 to Japan.

Bring on Sunday's game against Brazil!

Three cheers for Cahill and Aloisi!

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

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]]>Go Australia...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/12/go_australia~871936/2006-06-12T10:11:01+02:00 <p>Today is Australia's first game in the FIFA World Cup, they are playing Japan at 2pm (UK time). All would be well except that I need to go to the local church to watch my son perform at 2.30pm, so I will need to tape the game.</p> <p>AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE - OI OI OI!</p> <p>Go the green and gold! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/12/go_australia~871936/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Today is Australia's first game in the FIFA World Cup, they are playing Japan at 2pm (UK time). All would be well except that I need to go to the local church to watch my son perform at 2.30pm, so I will need to tape the game.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE - OI OI OI!

Go the green and gold!

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]]>Wedding Anniversaryhttp://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/12/wedding_anniversary~871932/2006-06-12T10:08:56+02:00 <p>Last Wednesday was my 8th Wedding Anniversary. I wasn't sure what G had planned so I kept my things to myself. G woke up and gave me a lovely big kiss and cuddle and said 'I love you'. We spent the day together, he bought me flowers and perfume and we had a meal at a Mexican restaurant in Greenwich. It was a lovely day and I can clearly say that I am married and happy and am looking forward to many more years with G. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/12/wedding_anniversary~871932/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Last Wednesday was my 8th Wedding Anniversary. I wasn't sure what G had planned so I kept my things to myself. G woke up and gave me a lovely big kiss and cuddle and said 'I love you'. We spent the day together, he bought me flowers and perfume and we had a meal at a Mexican restaurant in Greenwich. It was a lovely day and I can clearly say that I am married and happy and am looking forward to many more years with G.

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]]>What an interesting few days!!!http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/06/what_an_interesting_few_days~857820/2006-06-06T14:25:18+02:00 <p>On Thursday was my birthday. I went out for dinner with L and her Mum and came home at 1am. I had arranged a babysitter for the night for the kids. I went to bed and L took the babysitter home and came back to my house. She went to bed about 1.30am. She heard noises downstairs at 1.35am and called my mobile at 1.37am to see if I was up and out of bed - why I would have my phone with me is beyond me! She fell asleep and didn't think anything else of the noises till the following morning when I got up out of bed...</p> <p>Down stairs I went to find my front door wide open and my laptop gone. OK, I can live with that, nothing else has gone, not the kids laptop that they needed to walk past to get to mine, not my MP3 player, not my handbag hanging on the bannister, just my laptop.</p> <p>I reported the theft to the local police and gave them the details of the babysitter and informed them that the babysitter had friends over without my permission etc etc. End of story.</p> <p>Saturday morning as L went to walk out to her car to go to work she found the laptop sitting beside my front gate in a bag. It wasn't there the day before, so someone had returned the laptop.</p> <p>Another call to the police and forensics came out to take prints. </p> <p>Monday the phone rang and it was the police again, they have been speaking to the kids and think that one of them is about to crack. We'll see what happens.</p> <p>What an interesting way to spend the beginning of June. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/06/what_an_interesting_few_days~857820/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>On Thursday was my birthday. I went out for dinner with L and her Mum and came home at 1am. I had arranged a babysitter for the night for the kids. I went to bed and L took the babysitter home and came back to my house. She went to bed about 1.30am. She heard noises downstairs at 1.35am and called my mobile at 1.37am to see if I was up and out of bed - why I would have my phone with me is beyond me! She fell asleep and didn't think anything else of the noises till the following morning when I got up out of bed...

Down stairs I went to find my front door wide open and my laptop gone. OK, I can live with that, nothing else has gone, not the kids laptop that they needed to walk past to get to mine, not my MP3 player, not my handbag hanging on the bannister, just my laptop.

I reported the theft to the local police and gave them the details of the babysitter and informed them that the babysitter had friends over without my permission etc etc. End of story.

Saturday morning as L went to walk out to her car to go to work she found the laptop sitting beside my front gate in a bag. It wasn't there the day before, so someone had returned the laptop.

Another call to the police and forensics came out to take prints.

Monday the phone rang and it was the police again, they have been speaking to the kids and think that one of them is about to crack. We'll see what happens.

What an interesting way to spend the beginning of June.

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]]>Its my birthday...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/01/its_my_birthday~846838/2006-06-01T17:43:18+02:00 <p>WOO HOO!!! I'm getting older and I'm happy about that!</p> <p>The kids were up early this morning to give me my cards that they had made, little did they know that I went to be at 2am and it was only 6am! The cards were cute, such love put into them.</p> <p>I finally got out of bed at 10am, tried to get in the shower but got a call from my best mate in Aus and he had me in fits of laughter. I finally got my shower and woke up L, she stayed the night so that she could be here on my birthday, how sweet! Then it was off to a local cafe for breakfast, then home, then a surprise visitor and then out shopping. I am going out to dinner with L and her Mum tonight into London, so that should be fun, I have kind of adopted L's Mum, my Mum didn't even call me today...</p> <p>S called around last night with some CD's for my birthday, I thought that he had the hint now that things were not going to work out, hopefully he will soon, but I'll enjoy the CD's!</p> <p>G called me early this morning, he wanted to wish me a great day and wished that he was here to celebrate it with me. Oh well, not long now till he comes home!</p> <p>And to my SF, thanks. You know what I am saying thanks for! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/06/01/its_my_birthday~846838/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>WOO HOO!!! I'm getting older and I'm happy about that!

The kids were up early this morning to give me my cards that they had made, little did they know that I went to be at 2am and it was only 6am! The cards were cute, such love put into them.

I finally got out of bed at 10am, tried to get in the shower but got a call from my best mate in Aus and he had me in fits of laughter. I finally got my shower and woke up L, she stayed the night so that she could be here on my birthday, how sweet! Then it was off to a local cafe for breakfast, then home, then a surprise visitor and then out shopping. I am going out to dinner with L and her Mum tonight into London, so that should be fun, I have kind of adopted L's Mum, my Mum didn't even call me today...

S called around last night with some CD's for my birthday, I thought that he had the hint now that things were not going to work out, hopefully he will soon, but I'll enjoy the CD's!

G called me early this morning, he wanted to wish me a great day and wished that he was here to celebrate it with me. Oh well, not long now till he comes home!

And to my SF, thanks. You know what I am saying thanks for!

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]]>Feeling down...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/26/feeling_down~831503/2006-05-26T19:05:06+02:00 <p>Can't put my finger on it, it just is.</p> <p>I cried today when I picked the kids up at school, I cried when I got home, I cried when I was in the car...</p> <p>I broke my glasses today at work and don't know whether I should just buy another pair or try and get them fixed - they are titanium and I didn't think that were meant to break.</p> <p>I've locked the garage door and can not get it open so will need to get D the neighbour to help me out in the morning.</p> <p>The kids have been feral.</p> <p>Maybe I am missing G. </p> <p>What ever it is, I am likely to cry at the drop of a hat. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/26/feeling_down~831503/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Can't put my finger on it, it just is.

I cried today when I picked the kids up at school, I cried when I got home, I cried when I was in the car...

I broke my glasses today at work and don't know whether I should just buy another pair or try and get them fixed - they are titanium and I didn't think that were meant to break.

I've locked the garage door and can not get it open so will need to get D the neighbour to help me out in the morning.

The kids have been feral.

Maybe I am missing G.

What ever it is, I am likely to cry at the drop of a hat.

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]]>My Mum...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/21/my_mum~816538/2006-05-21T10:48:47+02:00 <p>I don't tell her things because quite frankly I couldn't be bothered!!! No, I don't tell her things because she is never supportive, she is just .... Can't really think of what I want to say.</p> <p>Any way, G is in Aus. My Mum lives in Aus. G didn't want my Mum to know that he was in Aus, I had no problems with that. She called this morning...</p> <p>My son told her that Daddy was in Aus with his sister and that he had been there for a few days already...</p> <p>Mum is not happy with me, oh well, tell me a time when she has been! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/21/my_mum~816538/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I don't tell her things because quite frankly I couldn't be bothered!!! No, I don't tell her things because she is never supportive, she is just .... Can't really think of what I want to say.

Any way, G is in Aus. My Mum lives in Aus. G didn't want my Mum to know that he was in Aus, I had no problems with that. She called this morning...

My son told her that Daddy was in Aus with his sister and that he had been there for a few days already...

Mum is not happy with me, oh well, tell me a time when she has been!

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]]>I've made up my mind...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/21/i_ve_made_up_my_mind~816535/2006-05-21T10:45:56+02:00 <p>My marriage to G means more to me than anything else at the moment. That sounds bad, the way I just worded that!</p> <p>Last night S called around. He just sat there, he didn't want to talk, he didn't want to do anything.</p> <p>Later when I was in bed, L said that it was obvious something was up. S keeps up coming up with excuses for everything and its really pissing me off. If you can't be honest with me, forget it.</p> <p>I spoke to G last night and this morning and wish he was here with me now. I think he can sense that something is up with S.</p> <p>I need to tell S that there is no point in trying, its just not going to happen. My heart is with G and that's not going to change. All married couples have problems...don't they?</p> <p>Come home soon G <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/21/i_ve_made_up_my_mind~816535/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>My marriage to G means more to me than anything else at the moment. That sounds bad, the way I just worded that!

Last night S called around. He just sat there, he didn't want to talk, he didn't want to do anything.

Later when I was in bed, L said that it was obvious something was up. S keeps up coming up with excuses for everything and its really pissing me off. If you can't be honest with me, forget it.

I spoke to G last night and this morning and wish he was here with me now. I think he can sense that something is up with S.

I need to tell S that there is no point in trying, its just not going to happen. My heart is with G and that's not going to change. All married couples have problems...don't they?

Come home soon G :)

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]]>Home alone...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/20/home_alone~815452/2006-05-20T19:54:59+02:00 <p>G is now in Sydney with his sister.</p> <p>While he is away he has asked me to read his emails and tell him if anything important comes up. I read something I shouldn't have read. I was hurt when I read it, then I was happy. I never thought that G would ever lie to me, but I know that he is hiding something he doesn't want me to know, except I now know. Is that why he is being so nice in regards to S?</p> <p>S came around on Thursday night. L was here too. S and I sat and talked for a while, then it occurred to me...</p> <p>S is just like G, in almost every way except that he is black! He wants me to be happy, he wants to give me everything, he is G all over.</p> <p>I spoke to L about it. I told her that maybe I can't get into S because I want something different, I don't want another G etc.</p> <p>It's meant to be my Wedding Anniversary on the 7 June. Will it mean anything to me this time round?</p> <p>I have been bribing the children with 50p to go to bed, and its working!!! Today they doubled their money and got £1 because they were good for the baby sitter that came over. I hope she wasn't lying!!! She took the kids to the Art Festival and to the Fair on the green and even made cookies with the kids. She's only 15. I think she can come back again!</p> <p>S says that he is calling around briefly tonight, so I need to stay up, but that's ok, L will be here too! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/20/home_alone~815452/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>G is now in Sydney with his sister.

While he is away he has asked me to read his emails and tell him if anything important comes up. I read something I shouldn't have read. I was hurt when I read it, then I was happy. I never thought that G would ever lie to me, but I know that he is hiding something he doesn't want me to know, except I now know. Is that why he is being so nice in regards to S?

S came around on Thursday night. L was here too. S and I sat and talked for a while, then it occurred to me...

S is just like G, in almost every way except that he is black! He wants me to be happy, he wants to give me everything, he is G all over.

I spoke to L about it. I told her that maybe I can't get into S because I want something different, I don't want another G etc.

It's meant to be my Wedding Anniversary on the 7 June. Will it mean anything to me this time round?

I have been bribing the children with 50p to go to bed, and its working!!! Today they doubled their money and got £1 because they were good for the baby sitter that came over. I hope she wasn't lying!!! She took the kids to the Art Festival and to the Fair on the green and even made cookies with the kids. She's only 15. I think she can come back again!

S says that he is calling around briefly tonight, so I need to stay up, but that's ok, L will be here too!

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]]>Not sure how I feel...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/15/not_sure_how_i_feel~802006/2006-05-15T18:35:04+02:00 <p>Am I confused?</p> <p>Am I upset?</p> <p>Am I homesick?</p> <p>Am I jealous?</p> <p>I don't know...</p> <p>I don't know what to do with S. I am not sure I have feelings for him, or maybe my feelings for G are over powering. What should I do? Do I stick it out for a little longer or just call it quits now? Arrggghhhh.</p> <p>I am upset with S. Can I trust him? I'm not sure. He said some things to me over the past few weeks that have been untrue and then he used the excuse that I am too gullible and that I shouldn't be etc etc. He made me upset because now I question everything he says.</p> <p>Am I homesick? I am thinking that I am. G is off to Aus on Wednesday and I wish I was going too. So I suppose that makes me jealous too. He is going to see his family and I miss my MIL. I wish it was me that was getting the break from the kids. I wish it was me on that plane. I just wish it was me... But then that makes me a spoilt brat and I know I am. G has bought me a ticket back home for September when my friend L goes out. We will be going together and I will be able to see everyone, I just don't want to wait.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/15/not_sure_how_i_feel~802006/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Am I confused?

Am I upset?

Am I homesick?

Am I jealous?

I don't know...

I don't know what to do with S. I am not sure I have feelings for him, or maybe my feelings for G are over powering. What should I do? Do I stick it out for a little longer or just call it quits now? Arrggghhhh.

I am upset with S. Can I trust him? I'm not sure. He said some things to me over the past few weeks that have been untrue and then he used the excuse that I am too gullible and that I shouldn't be etc etc. He made me upset because now I question everything he says.

Am I homesick? I am thinking that I am. G is off to Aus on Wednesday and I wish I was going too. So I suppose that makes me jealous too. He is going to see his family and I miss my MIL. I wish it was me that was getting the break from the kids. I wish it was me on that plane. I just wish it was me... But then that makes me a spoilt brat and I know I am. G has bought me a ticket back home for September when my friend L goes out. We will be going together and I will be able to see everyone, I just don't want to wait.

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]]>Yesterday...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/08/yesterday~783713/2006-05-08T11:12:10+02:00 <p>Was a great day. Both G and I were really settled within ourselves and we had a great talk. G also booked a trip back to Aus and will be leaving next week and returning just after my birthday.</p> <p>I told G that he still turned me on, and he replied with the same thing. We talked about S and what that meant to us. G said that he was willing to have an open relationship with me, he said that he could see that S makes me happy, but he wants me to know that he still wants me.</p> <p>He said that he wanted to stay married...</p> <p>He said that he wanted to give me back my rings on our Anniversary in June, to which I told him I would feel really insulted if he did that.</p> <p>He didn't want to be in Aus for my birthday but will be now, I told him that it was time that he thought of what he wanted instead of what I might want.</p> <p>He told me to organise a babysitter for Wednesday night when he is away for work so that I can go out with S for the night.</p> <p>He said that he was happy for S to come over to the house, but he didn't want the kids to meet him, to which I said I had already thought about that and I didn't want the kids to meet him either, I just don't think it is right.</p> <p>He asked me if I would hold him last night when I was in bed, which I did till 3am, by then my neck was sore and I needed to roll over.</p> <p>My heart belongs to G, it always will, regardless of how horrible he has been to me.</p> <p>S intrigues me, but will anything happen??? I don't know.</p> <p>I have a lot of baggage, and I'm not sure what S will think.</p> <p>At least I don't have to hide S now, G knows that I am txting and talking to him, but he doesn't know that I work with him <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I feel really happy at the moment and think that G and I are doing the best thing.</p> <p>Oh, and G has started calling S, S. Little does he know that that is S's real name!!! S is just a name that means something to both of us! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/05/08/yesterday~783713/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Was a great day. Both G and I were really settled within ourselves and we had a great talk. G also booked a trip back to Aus and will be leaving next week and returning just after my birthday.

I told G that he still turned me on, and he replied with the same thing. We talked about S and what that meant to us. G said that he was willing to have an open relationship with me, he said that he could see that S makes me happy, but he wants me to know that he still wants me.

He said that he wanted to stay married...

He said that he wanted to give me back my rings on our Anniversary in June, to which I told him I would feel really insulted if he did that.

He didn't want to be in Aus for my birthday but will be now, I told him that it was time that he thought of what he wanted instead of what I might want.

He told me to organise a babysitter for Wednesday night when he is away for work so that I can go out with S for the night.

He said that he was happy for S to come over to the house, but he didn't want the kids to meet him, to which I said I had already thought about that and I didn't want the kids to meet him either, I just don't think it is right.

He asked me if I would hold him last night when I was in bed, which I did till 3am, by then my neck was sore and I needed to roll over.

My heart belongs to G, it always will, regardless of how horrible he has been to me.

S intrigues me, but will anything happen??? I don't know.

I have a lot of baggage, and I'm not sure what S will think.

At least I don't have to hide S now, G knows that I am txting and talking to him, but he doesn't know that I work with him :)

I feel really happy at the moment and think that G and I are doing the best thing.

Oh, and G has started calling S, S. Little does he know that that is S's real name!!! S is just a name that means something to both of us!

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]]>I tried...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/25/i_tried~754257/2006-04-25T11:45:04+02:00 <p>To tell G that I wanted a break.</p> <p>I want to get to know me again.</p> <p>He said that he understood, that he was upset but I needed to do it.</p> <p>Then I fell into bed with him and made mad passionate love all night, haven't done that in a long time.</p> <p>This morning I just wanted to hold him.</p> <p>I'm confused.</p> <p>There are two people, G and S. What am I to do?</p> <p>I can't pretend that I don't love G, I do...</p> <p>I'm very confused now <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/25/i_tried~754257/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>To tell G that I wanted a break.

I want to get to know me again.

He said that he understood, that he was upset but I needed to do it.

Then I fell into bed with him and made mad passionate love all night, haven't done that in a long time.

This morning I just wanted to hold him.

I'm confused.

There are two people, G and S. What am I to do?

I can't pretend that I don't love G, I do...

I'm very confused now :(

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]]>The something...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/21/the_something~744120/2006-04-21T09:55:00+02:00 <p>Was a SOMEONE!</p> <p>He makes me feel special.</p> <p>He respects me.</p> <p>He is considerate.</p> <p>He is awesome <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>And while I had to go to work for 4 hours last night, I finished at 10.30pm and then spent the next hour with him <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Even my boss commented on how happy I was and that he hasn't seen me this happy in a long time, if ever <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/21/the_something~744120/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Was a SOMEONE!

He makes me feel special.

He respects me.

He is considerate.

He is awesome :)

And while I had to go to work for 4 hours last night, I finished at 10.30pm and then spent the next hour with him :)

Even my boss commented on how happy I was and that he hasn't seen me this happy in a long time, if ever :):):):)

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]]>I did it, I did it, I did it...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/20/i_did_it_i_did_it_i_did_it~741316/2006-04-20T09:53:04+02:00 <p>And it feels so good <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>It felt so right.</p> <p>It was the best, well maybe not 'the best', but it was pretty close!</p> <p>Woo Hoo, I'm excited! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/20/i_did_it_i_did_it_i_did_it~741316/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>And it feels so good :):):)

It felt so right.

It was the best, well maybe not 'the best', but it was pretty close!

Woo Hoo, I'm excited!

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]]>I'm going to do something...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/19/i_m_going_to_do_something~738806/2006-04-19T12:06:30+02:00 <p>At 2.30pm today. </p> <p>I think I am crazy, but I am excited.</p> <p>I think I am stupid, but I am happy.</p> <p>I think I am about to risk a lot, but at the moment, my life is full of risks <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I'm excited!!!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/19/i_m_going_to_do_something~738806/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>At 2.30pm today.

I think I am crazy, but I am excited.

I think I am stupid, but I am happy.

I think I am about to risk a lot, but at the moment, my life is full of risks :)

I'm excited!!!!

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]]>Why can't he talk to me?http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/13/why_can_t_he_talk_to_me~725194/2006-04-13T16:41:46+02:00 <p>Why is it that when things seem to go so well they blow up again and he wont talk to me about it?</p> <p>Its a constant cycle, one of blame and anger and its getting to the point that I can't stand it any more.</p> <p>Everything is my fault, nothing is his fault. I cause all the arguments, he doesn't want to hear my side of the story. He is always right.</p> <p>I'm a waoman, I'm meant to be right all the time.</p> <p>OK, maybe not, but please I wish he would listen to me, I wish he would take the time to talk to me.</p> <p>I wish.....I'm just living in a fantasy land. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/13/why_can_t_he_talk_to_me~725194/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>Why is it that when things seem to go so well they blow up again and he wont talk to me about it?

Its a constant cycle, one of blame and anger and its getting to the point that I can't stand it any more.

Everything is my fault, nothing is his fault. I cause all the arguments, he doesn't want to hear my side of the story. He is always right.

I'm a waoman, I'm meant to be right all the time.

OK, maybe not, but please I wish he would listen to me, I wish he would take the time to talk to me.

I wish.....I'm just living in a fantasy land.

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]]>I feel BLAH...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/06/i_feel_blah~708355/2006-04-06T20:33:48+02:00 <p>BLAH, BLAH, BLAH</p> <p>BLAH, BLAH, BLAH</p> <p>I want to scream YEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL</p> <p>I am meant to be going out soon, but I'm not in the mood <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> I hate putting on a happy face when my life feels like its falling apart.</p> <p>I feel so BLAH.</p> <p>I just want out, I want out NOW.</p> <p>Make it all go away. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/04/06/i_feel_blah~708355/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>BLAH, BLAH, BLAH

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH

I want to scream YEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I am meant to be going out soon, but I'm not in the mood :( I hate putting on a happy face when my life feels like its falling apart.

I feel so BLAH.

I just want out, I want out NOW.

Make it all go away.

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]]>That is so bad...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/31/that_is_so_bad~689125/2006-03-31T13:37:18+02:00 <p>I can't believe I wrote that last night (well this morning actually!).</p> <p>I'm sitting in my room listening to Michael Bolton. Am about to put a DVD on, gotta love Love Actually.</p> <p>G has gone out to buy some more gear for squash, H is downstairs watching TV and A is at school, H didn't want to go and since we had the week booked off, decided that he didn't need to.</p> <p>G and I have had some awesome arguments lately. Things are too good, its funny how things can be good and then turn sour really quickly. He actually scared me this morning, something he has never done in the past 10 years together.</p> <p>My house is being marketed for sale by Auction in May. I am really worried about what will happen when the house sells. I think G is waiting for it to sell so I have nothing to claim if you know what I mean. After the sale of the house, paying off the mortgage and other debts, we will be lucky to have $10,000 left over, and I am sure he will find a way to 'hide' it from me so I can not touch it.</p> <p>My bestfriend is back from Aus. It was so nice to catch up with her.</p> <p>Ah, must away, my head is thumping and I think I need to take something for it.</p> <p>Cheerio,<br> AMC </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/31/that_is_so_bad~689125/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I can't believe I wrote that last night (well this morning actually!).

I'm sitting in my room listening to Michael Bolton. Am about to put a DVD on, gotta love Love Actually.

G has gone out to buy some more gear for squash, H is downstairs watching TV and A is at school, H didn't want to go and since we had the week booked off, decided that he didn't need to.

G and I have had some awesome arguments lately. Things are too good, its funny how things can be good and then turn sour really quickly. He actually scared me this morning, something he has never done in the past 10 years together.

My house is being marketed for sale by Auction in May. I am really worried about what will happen when the house sells. I think G is waiting for it to sell so I have nothing to claim if you know what I mean. After the sale of the house, paying off the mortgage and other debts, we will be lucky to have $10,000 left over, and I am sure he will find a way to 'hide' it from me so I can not touch it.

My bestfriend is back from Aus. It was so nice to catch up with her.

Ah, must away, my head is thumping and I think I need to take something for it.

Cheerio,
AMC

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]]>I'm a little pissed...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/31/i_m_a_little_pissed~688156/2006-03-31T01:29:18+02:00 <p>wanted to see what my blog lookd like when I am sober.</p> <p>Had a great night out with L, wish it were with SF.</p> <p>G has said that I a m noting but is whore, makes me feel really special I cam tell you.</p> <p>Need to have a shower so i don'yt smell like cigarette smole.</p> <p>I keep corecting my spelling because i am vain.</p> <p>good night, sleep tigt,<br> love me <strong>*</strong>*</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/31/i_m_a_little_pissed~688156/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>wanted to see what my blog lookd like when I am sober.

Had a great night out with L, wish it were with SF.

G has said that I a m noting but is whore, makes me feel really special I cam tell you.

Need to have a shower so i don'yt smell like cigarette smole.

I keep corecting my spelling because i am vain.

good night, sleep tigt,
love me **

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]]>Just got an email...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/15/just_got_an_email~646963/2006-03-15T22:13:07+01:00 <p>I was 4 months late in writing it in the first place - although I did SMS quite often.</p> <p>Any way, it came back to me today.</p> <p>It made me smile.</p> <p>It made me laugh.</p> <p>It made me cry.</p> <p>It was from someone special.</p> <p>They will always be in my heart.</p> <p>As they signed off...</p> <p>With Affection V.S</p> <p>My first love he will always be. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/15/just_got_an_email~646963/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I was 4 months late in writing it in the first place - although I did SMS quite often.

Any way, it came back to me today.

It made me smile.

It made me laugh.

It made me cry.

It was from someone special.

They will always be in my heart.

As they signed off...

With Affection V.S

My first love he will always be.

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]]>My Mother again...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/14/my_mother_again~643189/2006-03-14T18:32:22+01:00 <p>She called me on Sunday morning, I was trying to get ready for work, why is it that she always can pick the worse time to call?</p> <p>I was tired from the night before - see entry below.</p> <p>She was drunk. She was slurring her words. The kids didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to talk to her, but H had the phone on speaker so I couldn't say too much. When I finaly got the phone she asked me if I was missing her...</p> <p>I was honest.</p> <p>I said I was enjoying having my house back to myself (afterall, she had been here for 4 weeks).</p> <p>She hung up.</p> <p>I shouldn't care, but I do.</p> <p>She does this too me and knows that it plays on my mind. Obviously it is since I am writing it here.</p> <p>I just wish she would not ask questions if she doesn't want the answer. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/14/my_mother_again~643189/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>She called me on Sunday morning, I was trying to get ready for work, why is it that she always can pick the worse time to call?

I was tired from the night before - see entry below.

She was drunk. She was slurring her words. The kids didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to talk to her, but H had the phone on speaker so I couldn't say too much. When I finaly got the phone she asked me if I was missing her...

I was honest.

I said I was enjoying having my house back to myself (afterall, she had been here for 4 weeks).

She hung up.

I shouldn't care, but I do.

She does this too me and knows that it plays on my mind. Obviously it is since I am writing it here.

I just wish she would not ask questions if she doesn't want the answer.

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]]>Tired, Tired, Tiredhttp://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/14/tired_tired_tired~643181/2006-03-14T18:28:15+01:00 <p>I went out on Saturday night.</p> <p>I went to seOne in London Bridge. They were hosting Red Velvet. Was an interesting place let me tell you! The cover charge was £40, but once paid you didn't pay for the alcohol inside. I got in for free<img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> So I didn't pay for my drinks! And I got home at 4am, and then I went to work at 8.30am.</p> <p>I am tired. I should be able to go out and have these nights and not be so tired, but I am still tired.</p> <p>I managed to finish work at 1.30pm, and I came home and slept till 7pm. I was then up again and went to bed at 10pm, there was no way I could stay up longer. Yesterday G stayed home and let me sleep. Maybe I have slept too much now. Maybe I need some more sleep.</p> <p>Arrggghhhh, I am so tired.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/14/tired_tired_tired~643181/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>I went out on Saturday night.

I went to seOne in London Bridge. They were hosting Red Velvet. Was an interesting place let me tell you! The cover charge was £40, but once paid you didn't pay for the alcohol inside. I got in for free:) So I didn't pay for my drinks! And I got home at 4am, and then I went to work at 8.30am.

I am tired. I should be able to go out and have these nights and not be so tired, but I am still tired.

I managed to finish work at 1.30pm, and I came home and slept till 7pm. I was then up again and went to bed at 10pm, there was no way I could stay up longer. Yesterday G stayed home and let me sleep. Maybe I have slept too much now. Maybe I need some more sleep.

Arrggghhhh, I am so tired.

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]]>I'm still here...http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/14/i_m_still_here~642248/2006-03-14T13:00:21+01:00 <p>but think I will return to Aus in August. Just feels like the thing I need to do.</p> <p>I will be sad to leave the UK, but sometimes we need to do these things.</p> <p>I need to get my house in order back home so I can sell it, need the kids to establish friendships with kids that aren't going to move around, need the kids to feel as though they have a sense of what 'home' really is.</p> <p>Nothing feels like home at the moment. My home in Aus doesn't feel like home either, hence the reason for selling it.</p> <p>I am happy, but I am confused. Not sure what it is I want at the moment, not sure if I ever will...</p> <p>AMC </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://atravellingmummaintheuk.blog.co.uk/2006/03/14/i_m_still_here~642248/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>but think I will return to Aus in August. Just feels like the thing I need to do.

I will be sad to leave the UK, but sometimes we need to do these things.

I need to get my house in order back home so I can sell it, need the kids to establish friendships with kids that aren't going to move around, need the kids to feel as though they have a sense of what 'home' really is.

Nothing feels like home at the moment. My home in Aus doesn't feel like home either, hence the reason for selling it.

I am happy, but I am confused. Not sure what it is I want at the moment, not sure if I ever will...

AMC

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